


Words Left Unsaid

by AshMarx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 8.09, Angst, M/M, no happy ending, sort of spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-19 23:12:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/578662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshMarx/pseuds/AshMarx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I might kill myself". What Dean wanted to tell Cas after he heard the angel confess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words Left Unsaid

**Author's Note:**

> First shot at some angst, I don't know why I do this to myself. I know this has probably been done, but they're all happy endings. I go against the current; don't kill me.  
> Unbeta'd so all mistakes or weird sentence structure is my own fault! Thank you for reading, enjoy!

"...I might kill myself."

Dean's eyes widened. He gasped inaudibly. Cas...kill himself? Did he really hear that right? No, that would never happen. Dean would never let it happen. Cas couldn't kill himself; what if he didn't come back like the other times? And Dean couldn't just let that happen, he needed Cas. Dean had been so lost when he came back from Purgatory and now that he had the angel back, he was not going to let anyone or anything tear them apart again.

"No," he whispered. He looked up into those blue eyes and got back pain and hurt and confusion. His green eyes reflected everything back, but there was something hidden behind Dean's eyes that he was coming to grips with; something Cas wanted desperately to know and something Dean wanted to keep locked forever.

"What?" Cas asked, his voice almost breaking. He was so broken, so pained and tired that Dean couldn't handle it. He was breaking himself, driving himself mad because he couldn't fix whatever was wrong with Castiel. He wanted to hold him, tell him everything was alright. Even if it was a lie, he wanted to be able to give at least an ounce of comfort. But he couldn't, he never could. Cas would only tell him to let him go.

"I won't let you, Cas. You are not going anywhere, hear me? I've spent way too long without you and I-" he bit back the end. He didn't even know why he was saying this, why he had started to admit everything. Cas cocked his head, confused again. Dean sighed and dared to take the angel's hand in his. He didn't twine their fingers together, though, as much as he wanted. Castiel's eyes widened as he stared at their joined hands.

"Dean?"

Dean opened his mouth, ready to let the dam break again when he heard the door open and Sam step inside. He seperated their hands and barely registered Sam announcing he had found something. He looked up to see Castiel's response to something, anything he had just said and saw the tears welling up as he replied "good". 

He stood up and went back to his spot at the table. There were so many things he had wanted to say. He had held back ever since he got Cas back, but when he heard him say he wanted to kill himself, everything went to hell. He should've told Cas that he needed him more than anything and how so stupidly in love he was with him that he couldn't bear to see his angel like this. 

Dean started back on his research, the unsaid words hanging thick over him and Cas. If it were quiet enough and he listened really close, he would be able to hear the sound of both of their hearts breaking with every beat.


End file.
